Assumption
by Untiltheveryend7
Summary: No-one thought to tell Lily that Charlus Potter had passed away. She'd only met the man once, at the beginning of the Christmas holidays. When she boarded the Hogwarts Express at the end of the same break, she expected to find her boyfriend in high spirits, fresh from the seasonal festivity of home.


Assumption

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me. All rights go to JK Rowling/Warner Bros. I do not profit in any way.

No-one thought to tell Lily that Charlus Potter had passed away.

She'd only met the man once, at the beginning of the Christmas holidays. When she boarded the Hogwarts Express at the end of the same break, she expected to find her boyfriend in high spirits, fresh from the seasonal festivity of home.

Lily parted from Petunia (who had_ kindly_ driven her to the station), with a half-hearted wave and attempted smile. The latter sister didn't even stretch her pleasantries that far, and Lily sighed as she made her way towards the barrier. Vernon Dursley, Tuney's groom-to-be, was having a terrible influence on the blonde girl, as far as Lily was concerned. Their mum hadn't helped much, either. Elise Evans hadn't been the same since the girls' father had died from a lethal blood clot a few years back.

Needless to say, Lily was relieved to step onto the train and find her friends in the first cabin along.

She slid the door open, and most of the occupants looked up.

Lily knew there was something wrong immediately. For one thing, they all looked extremely downcast. Sirius didn't even look round at her. He just kept staring at the empty seat opposite him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. She was glad he hadn't acknowledged her, in a way. The look, accentuated by the dark rings under his eyes and uncharacteristic disarray of his hair had Lily scared.

For another thing, the empty seat should have been occupied by James Potter.

"Where is he?" Lily asked, her anxiety flaring at James's absence. "Where's James."

She looked at each person in turn. Marlene and Mary, looking sadly at her, Remus, Peter, Sirius, all avoiding her gaze.

Terrible possibilities occurring to her, Lily snapped, "Where is he?!" more shrilly than before.

"Dunno," Peter said finally.

"He left for another cabin, Lily," Mary explained softly. "He's upset."

"Why?" she said - and before waiting for someone to answer, "Why have none of you gone after him?"

Silence.

"Black," he looked up for the first time since she'd entered. Lily ignored the warning look Mary was shooting her. "Why didn't you go after him."

"He wanted to be alone," Sirius said, with a cold glare.

Lily turned around and left the compartment, and nobody tried to stop her.

She found him in an empty compartment towards the back of the train.

It almost broke her heart.

James's legs were drawn up to his chest, head resting on his knees. He was still apart from the occasional shudders that ran through his body; unmistakably silent sobs.

Lily didn't know how long she stood outside the door just watching him, but eventually she slid the glass door across and stepped into the compartment.

James didn't look up, and Lily silently took a seat beside him, gently pulling one of his hands away from his legs so that she could entwine her fingers with it.

He gripped Lily's hand tightly, but he didn't lift his head to look at her. The sobs that had jolted his body before seemed more subdued, as if he were trying to prevent her from seeing them.

"James," she said softly after a few minutes of silence. She covered the back of his hand with her other palm. It was cold.

James lifted his head slowly, and when he turned to look at her, his chin was set defiantly, as if steeling himself to show Lily this vulnerable side of him.

And he was. Lily observed his flushed cheeks, watery hazel eyes, strangely flattened hair and slightly trembling lips, and she wanted nothing more than to make whatever was wrong better. It seemed so unnatural for James Potter to look like that. James wasn't vulnerable. Ever. He was cocky and stubborn and suave, and altogether too confident for his own good.

"Did they tell you?" James asked, his voice low and strained as his eyes met hers.

Lily shook her head.

James expelled a shaky breath, and said, "My father died two days ago."

Lily took a moment to process the information. She could see her own reflection in James's glasses.

And then she couldn't, because he'd turned away from her again.

"Oh- Oh God," Lily said, surprised to hear her own voice breaking. She swallowed down the emotion. James needed her. "James," she said, blinking heavily. "I'm so sorry. _So_ sorry."

James didn't try to hide the tears. He didn't mask the pain in his eyes.

Until that moment, Lily hadn't fully appreciated just how much he trusted her.

It was humbling.

She had no idea what to say, looking into James's hazel eyes, uncharacteristically void of laughter.

"I didn't get to say goodbye, Lily," James said, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I didn't get to tell him how much I loved him."

"Oh, Merlin, James," she said, ashamed at the way her lips were wobbling, her eyes swimming. "He knew," she said, gripping both of his hands tightly as she looked up at him. "Of course he knew."

"But I didn't _tell_ him," James said loudly, his voice broken, "I should have _told him_! He shouldn't have had to assume. I never expected him to _die_! People shouldn't_ just die_!"

"I know," Lily said. "You always worry about your parents dying when you're younger. But then they reassure you that they'll be around for a long time yet, and not to worry."

"And we believed them," James said, "We built up this idea that they're somehow immortal, and that it'll never happen. And then it does."

"And then it does," Lily agreed, and she couldn't stop the single tear from running down her cheek.

James attempted a half-smile as he brushed Lily's tear away with his thumb. "You're beautiful when you cry, Evans," he said, like another of his God-awful pick up lines, but he said it too seriously to have not meant it.

"You're not too bad yourself, Potter," Lily said, loosening her other hand from his grip to wipe the moisture off his cheek.

They kept up the half-smiles for a minute, before settling into seriousness again.

"I'm sorry your dad died, Lily," James said, wrapping an arm around her so that Lily was half-leant on his chest.

"I- I'm sorry your dad did. He was a great man."

"He was."

They didn't say anything else for a while, but sat entwined together on the train seat. Lily heard James crying, but she did nothing but tighten her hold around his waist.

James was comforted in the simplest way, feeling Lily's chest rise and fall against his side, her breathing slow and steady.

Lily was soothed by the sound of James's heartbeat.

When it was time to get changed into their robes, Lily detached herself reluctantly.

James gave her another attempt at a smile, as if to tell her it was okay, he would be alright.

But before she could leave, James called her back.

"Lily," he said as she set her hand on the door.

She turned around to look at him.

James was staring at her intensely, a new kind of light in his eyes.

"I never want you to have to assume," he said carefully.

Lily smiled weakly. "James," she said. "Love is all about assumption."

And then she left the compartment, leaving James in her wake with a smile that was uncertain, but true.


End file.
